apology  /əˈpɒlədʒi/ 3:29pm:

To the umpteen conversations after heartbreaks; to self// with self: We deserve some talks right?

Hey! I am sorry that I disturbed you, yeah’ its been 6 months now, oh! yes I forgot we aren’t dating ,\\ so how r u? hoping to be fine . I am good, yes see, i am good wearing a lipstick, standing in front of you, tell me now no…not your deceptive words again, tell me the truth. I know I look good.

You know, you aren’t here to listen my rants but I will tell you. I was 15 when I came across my first boyfriend, I thought him to be the perfect one fortunately, he was not, so I approached another and another and got stuck in this redundant chain and I found you! Yes I did! But you left? yes you did. But you didn’t maybe? \\ You are still stuck in my mind, we discuss a lot  I know we do, we still say I love you, I mean it but may be not you.

We discuss a lot  I know may be that’s why I still listen patiently to you. Yes we discuss a lot may be that’s why I still fear if any trouble comes up to you. We do discuss a lot , relentlessly may be that’s why whenever I cry I lay on you.

But hey! yes you, I am strong, see! I am strong \\ Don’t ever think that I wont move on.       I will, may be not ???????? But I will I mean at least I can^ and dont worry, I know myself I am not that good to be the same forever I know i am not. I know if ever I abandoned you from the imaginary zones in my heart, I know those Marlboro boxes will stick to me,, that princess tiara will fall down oh! see its lost , I KNOW MYSELF! but i dont want to.

So if ever this happened, that you leave me dont care about me, I know myself, or ever did I leave you I’ll leave you with an apology:::

I know myself-I wont be the same ever;

{Pale conversations with my friend, mirror: Sorry couldnt speak up to you//}

Yashna Srivastava

The author Yashna Srivastava

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